EVERYBODY GETS A BUTTKICKING FRANCHISE
1. Boo! A Madea Halloween/LGF Wknd/$ 27.6 Total/$ 27.6
2. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back/ Wknd/$ 23.0 Total/$ 23.0
3. Ouija: Origin of Evil/Universal Wknd/$ 14.1 Total/$ 14.1
4. The Accountant/WB Wknd/$ 14.0 Total/$ 47.9
5. The Girl on the Train/Universal Wknd/$ 6.0 Total/$ 58.9
6. Miss Peregrine's Home…/Fox Wknd/$ 6.0 Total/$ 74.4
7. Keeping Up With The Joneses/Fox Wknd/$ 5.6 Total/$ 5.6
8. Kevin Hart: What Now? Wknd/$ 4.1 Total/$ 18.9
9. Storks/WB Wknd/$ 4.1 Total/$ 64.7
10. Deepwater Horizon/Lions Gate Wknd/$ 3.6 Total/$ 55.3
YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS SHIT
Boo! A Madea Halloween opens at number one and…no. Just…no.
NEVER GO BACK…UNLESS IT'S FOR MORE MONEY
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back opens at number two and I actually enjoyed the first film. Granted, I'm not one of the fans of the books where Jack Reacher is 6'3" so I don't have a problem with Tom Cruise intimidating people and whooping ass all over the place like a man twice his size. I accept it for the cheap thrills sheer vanity production it is (one of the first things you see onscreen is "A Tom Cruise Production"). It exists to show you that the star is just the bestest thing ever! And while Cruise was never a great actor he is however a great movie star so this works. It'd work better for a young Clint Eastwood, but it works for Cruise too. This is a bit of an improvement on the the first because that one was centered around a horrific loss of innocent life along with horrible moments of sheer "the crap we do to our fellow human beings" variety. The only way it was better was that it had one of funniest fight scenes ever and we got to watch Jai Courtney get beaten to death. Hell, the latter alone is worth the entire film's production. This one is a simple "wrongly accused heroes fight to clear their names" and we get to watch Tom Cruise get his Jason Bourne on. And don't kid yourself: this was his attempt to have a Jason Bourne franchise the way every actor from Liam Neeson to Kevin Costner to Sean Penn has seemingly tried to get his own with varying degrees of success over the last 14 years (Cruise was originally supposed to be Salt which was obviously gender swapped to Angelina). Yeah, he's got Mission Impossible, but a) you can never have too many franchises, especially when you're officially an aging actor and b) that was actually famous before he was and has expanded to include other known actors. This is about him and him alone beating the shit out of people in that military martial arts style that even James Bond had to adapt as the result of Bourne's success. It's not an intellectual exercise by any stretch of the imagination, but for so cheap and easy fun (these movies cost about $60M each and literally a third of that probably went to Cruise alone) they are not a bad way to spend two hours and will be great on cable in the coming years where you can just tune out the improbable plot and just look up from what you're doing to watch Cruise beat the shit out of people. Hey, I think Jai Courtney is about to die right now. Be back in a minute…
IT'S A SUCCESSFUL PLAN, STAN
Quija: Origin of Evil opens at number three and this is how you make money. Take a low budget horror movie and open it close to Halloween, the second most profitable holiday in America. The first Ouija came out on October 24th last year and made $50M from a $5M budget so they knew what they'd be doing the following year. This is basically the new "Saw" which milked this same marketing plan for years. The producers put a little more money into this one (it's a whopping $9M this time), but have probably already started pre-production on the third given it's already made that back and then some in one weekend. I think it goes without saying that I have not, nor will I ever see any of these.
DAMSEL IN DISTRESS
The Accountant is down to number four and also in this is Anna Kendrick, expanding her audience to dudebros who'd never see Pitch Perfect but bringing her trademark humor along with her which honestly is one of the reasons this succeeds: it knows when to be funny. After all, you can't have a killing machine accountant and expect people to keep a straight face. You cannot. Granted, Kendrick is basically "the girl" who needs to be saved and doesn't even have a moment where she contributes to beating the bad guys, but small steps. At least when they come for her she manages to put a hurt on them and doesn't just scream and run.
AN ALL ALMOST-STAR CAST
The Girl on the Train is down to number five and this movie is filled with actors you know but none with enough star power to overcome Emily Blunt, which is shrewd if planned, but probably because a movie with a female lead didn't have the budget to hire other A-list actors (you know it's true!). You've got the would-be girl-of-the-moment Haley Bennett, Justin Theroux aka Mr. Jennifer Anniston, Luke Evans aka That Guy That Looks Like If Orlando Bloom Was A Man, Laura Prepon aka The Redhead From That 70's Show, Allison Janney aka Always A Solid Supporting Actor But Never A Lead and Lisa Kudrow aka That Friends Money Means You Should Never Feel Sorry For Me.
THEY BELIEVE IN FLYING MEN AND GHOSTS…SO LONG AS THEY'RE WHITE
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children is down to number six and there was some small amount of controversy about the lack of diversity in the movie, and while it would have been nice I honestly I don't expect a lot in a movie set in Europe during WWII. But there's something to be said that the only people of color in a Burton film before this were covered by make up as monkeys and the only one here is the freaking villain. If you doubted Burton's geek cred this should back it up. They tend to like their fantasy worlds monochromatic.
SUCH A HANDSOME MAN
Keeping Up With the Joneses opens at number seven and Zach Galifinakis is running out of chances to prove he can sell a comedy. His last flop before this was only a few weeks ago with Masterminds. What that has in common with this movie is that they share a name with a previous movie that failed, which usually drives the people in suits crazy prompting an instant change. It's nothing against Jon Hamm given this clearly isn't his movie, but it's not helping either. It's great he doesn't have an ego and needs to be the star, but you're not a kid, dude and need to have something successful post-Mad Men under your belt. It's ironic he's here with the new Wonder Woman given he looks more like a superhero than basically everyone currently playing one. Hamm is a perfect Superman. Hamm is a perfect Batman. Hamm is a perfect Iron Man. Hamm would have been a perfect Doctor Strange as well. He's been approached but balked at the decade long contracts they have to sign. Don't expect to see him in a wannabe Jason Bourne movie either.
Kevin Hart: What Now is down to number eight, followed by Storks at number nine with Deepwater Horizon closing out the top ten at number ten.